It’s that time of year again, the end of one year as we usher in a new one. A time we reflect upon how the past year went as we map out a way forward. We analyze the wins, losses, and lessons we can draw out from the previous year as we set new goals and milestones to achieve. This article is a personal account of the year 2021. I look into the most significant events in 2021 and what they taught me about life.
Personal growth; During the first COVID-19 lockdown in 2020 I set out on a quest for personal growth. Rather than waste away the entire days I had in the quarantine, I set out to build the different aspects of my life. It’s at that time I started writing – something that started as a hobby but turned into an integral part of my life. I also started reading a bit more books and working out nearly every day. The plan was to storm into 2021 as the best version of myself, physically and mentally. The plan was to excel in the main aspects of my life; school, sports (rugby), social life, and other aspects that make up the life of a typical guy in his 20’s.
However, 2021 had a rocky start; I found out that I flunked the previous semester terribly. As if that wasn’t enough, I got a major knee injury in just my first day of training so was ruled out for the season. That was one of my lowest points in life, one that tested my sense of identity and mental health in general. It was like all the work I had put in was in vain. Life doesn’t always play by your rules I guess, you could do everything the right way, but things may still not go as planned. When you’re passionate about something like sports, you start to live it, dream it until it becomes a part of your identity. Stripping it causes a crisis.
Young Adult Talk_Ug is born; There I was in my moments of self-loathing when an idea popped up in my head. I wasn’t so good at sharing mental health troubles so I decided to write my way out of my low moments. It was also a project I picked up to keep my mind busy and creative and so I started the Young Adult Talk Ug platform on various social media pages. So I could say it started as a coping mechanism.
Ever since I started writing, I had always wanted to channel my writing to a worthwhile initiative. After giving it a thought, I decided that I would channel it into a platform where I shared some of my experiences as a young adult.
In retrospect, I believe it’s the tough times that gave me that final push to start the platform. This shifted my perspective from looking at tough times and failures as hindrances to growth to looking at them as a necessity for growth. It also gave me more appreciation for adversity since it’s to a large extent what shapes you into what you are.
A few months down the road and I could say, in regards to the project, so far, so good. I was overwhelmed by the positive feedback and support. Shout out to my team for being supportive; Jerry Lwoto, the guy behind our awesome graphics. Samuel Walijjo, the guy who never takes my content as gospel truth and whose positive criticism makes my content even better. Fahad Matovu is the most experienced of us in matters of mental health. And last but certainly not least, Esther Lukayi adds some feminine energy to the group.
Death of a friend; On May 11th of 2021, I woke up to heartbreaking news, a high school friend of mine (Oscar Esele the late) had succumbed to illness and passed on. My friendship with him had been rekindled a couple of months before. After high school, we had drifted apart, but a couple of years later, he reached out to me just to say ‘hi’ and check on me. Sadly, 2021 was the year that saw his passing.
On that fateful morning, I called his phone in disbelief of the dreadful rumor. His guardian picked up and confirmed the sad news. However, it’s one particular word that he used that shocked me. ‘We shall transport his remains to the village for burial.’ his guardian said. That word ‘remains’ numbed my senses for a few seconds, I barely heard the rest of the words. Here was a guy, relatively my age, with a bright future ahead of him and in an instant, he was now ‘remains’
2021 also saw the death of Uganda rugby cranes coach and one of the best rugby players in Uganda; Robert Seguya the late. Although I never knew him personally, his passing was also saddening for anyone in the rugby fraternity. Since he was an old boy at Namilyango college and followed his passion for rugby, his path was certainly one most of us aspire for. His fight against leukemia was admirable and inspirational at the very least and his death shocking. At some instant, it seemed like he was living a heroic tale, one where he would beat the odds and conquer cancer, and in the next, he was gone.
On life and death; Both events got me thinking about death, the uncertainty of our existence, the fragility of life, the sudden and random nature of death.
Both events also made me develop a greater sympathy for those that have ever lost loved ones, especially to something like cancer or any other illness; It takes great strength to watch a loved one go, especially when you can’t do anything about it.
So in a nutshell, 2021 would generally appear like a pretty rough year, however, I believe that just like most things in life, how you perceive various events depends on your perspective.
Striving and failing to achieve my 2021 goals unearthed some unhealthy attachments to goals and the personal growth-the kind where your identity is attached to reaching goals and self-improvement. (Yes self-improvement can also be addictive and tyrannical to self).
Taking a break from self-improvement helped me realize a more stable basis for a sense of self-worth beyond what you have achieved, what you earn, where you studied, or where you live. It’s a fundamental sense of self-worth rooted in the fact that we are magnificent creatures crafted in the very image of God. And even without our constant proclivity to prove ourselves to everyone else, we are still worth it.
I also learned that great things can be born in moments of darkness and despair for it’s the low moments that pushed me to start Young Adult Talk (not to overestimate its success/progress by any means, but the handful of positive personal feedback tells me it is a venture that was worth starting)
It has also given me a greater appreciation for my life and the life of loved ones. It’s worth noting that amidst COVID-19 and the political unrest in 2021, I have not lost any close family members. That’s a blessing I do not intend on taking for granted.
On the shortness of life; It is a basic and inescapable fact, life is temporary and its end often comes without a warning. Some people live up to their 90’s, others die in their mother’s wombs, some people live recklessly and live to see their great-grandchildren, others live cautiously but still die young. It’s the uncertainty and unpredictable nature of death.
What then can we do in the face of such uncertainty?
We could do our best to utilize the limited time we have as best we can. I aspire for a kind of optimism where I draw out big plans for my future even when I know tomorrow is uncertain, a kind of optimism where I’ll wake up every morning to conquer the day, even though there’s a chance I may not see the next sunset.
2021 quote of the year; This quote is drawn from Victor Flankl’s Man’s search for meaning.
“Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” Viktor E. Frankl
It’s not about what happens to you that shapes you, but it’s rather how you react to it that counts. Life’s hardships and trials can either break you or teach you new things and give you a better appreciation for life. The choice is yours.
